


i've liked you for a thousand years

by cheinsaw



Category: Fate/Grand Order
Genre: F/F, Girls Kissing, Mortality, Useless Lesbians, nobody dies. this is SOFT
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-08
Updated: 2020-03-08
Packaged: 2021-02-28 19:08:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,049
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23062255
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cheinsaw/pseuds/cheinsaw
Summary: Ereshkigal is summoned to Chaldea at the invitation of a certain human she met long ago. (Perhaps she's been alone much longer than she thought.)
Relationships: Ereshkigal | Lancer/Fujimaru Ritsuka
Comments: 12
Kudos: 98





	i've liked you for a thousand years

**Author's Note:**

> lostbelt prologue? never heard of her
> 
> (some small portions of ereshkigal's dialogue are taken directly from her fgo bond 4 and 5 lines. i wrote the rest. hopefully this counts as fair use for a transformative work.)

Ereshkigal comes to Chaldea on a quiet night, two days after Christmas. Ritsuka's charmed immediately—this is the very same Ereshkigal she had befriended during her time in the Age of Gods, now standing here in the twenty-first century. Naturally, Ritsuka wants to spend time with her, between all the holiday cleanup and preparations for the new year. And Ereshkigal responds, red-faced, telling Ritsuka that she's  _ only doing what her Master asks of her, as a Servant, and it's not like she's doing anything for Ritsuka's sake because she doesn't like the living... _

Really, she's just like her sister. Ritsuka has heard this all before from Ishtar, a hundred times over, but with much less stuttering and blushing. It's cute, to be honest; this is the kind of thing that had endeared her to Ritsuka so deeply in the first place.

Ereshkigal gradually seems to become more comfortable with Ritsuka in time. She brightens when Ritsuka calls her not a Servant, but a friend, and her smile is dazzling. She even starts to come to Ritsuka's room of her own volition, though Ritsuka has to wonder if that part has something to do with avoiding Ishtar. Not like it matters. Ereshkigal seems happier, more content, and that's enough for Ritsuka.

(But she's so cute. Ereshkigal is lovely, a true goddess, and Ritsuka is finding it harder and harder to keep her composure around such a brilliant girl.)

It's eleven at night, and Ritsuka is just about ready to sleep. She's about to turn off her light when there's a knock at the door. "Come in," Ritsuka says, sitting up in her bed. Her heart flutters when she sees that it's Ereshkigal behind the door, wearing an ornate ruffled black dress instead of her usual fare. "Hi, Ere-chan."

"G-good evening… I didn't wake you, did I?"

"Nope, you caught me just in time. What's up?"

Ereshkigal slips into the room, hesitantly moving closer to Ritsuka. "Nothing. I just wanted to spend a little time with you, if you were free."

"Yeah, I am. You can come sit if you want." Ritsuka pats the edge of her bed.

Ereshkigal sits delicately, her skirts fanning out almost cloud-like around her. "Thank you," she says. She pauses. "It's still strange to me, to be able to visit you like this at a moment's notice."

"I mean, I try to be pretty open," Ritsuka says. "You can come see me any time."

"Mmm…" There's a faraway look in her eyes. Soft. Ritsuka wonders what Ereshkigal is thinking about, as she so often does. "Master, what will you do when there's nothing left for us here?"

"Like, as Servants?" (Ereshkigal nods.) "Oh… I hadn't really thought about it. I guess I would go back to Japan. Maybe bring Mash if the staff will let her have a vacation… I'm not really much of a planner, you know? I'm just here as long as Chaldea needs me, and after that…" Ritsuka trails off.

"I see," Ereshkigal murmurs. "I didn't realize it because I was having so much fun, but I guess I need to work hard to bring you back to your normal life as swiftly as possible…"

"Oh, no, you don't need to pressure yourself or anything," Ritsuka says quickly. "Da Vinci-chan handles all that stuff, so—"

"Maybe it's best if I just imprison you in the underworld…" Ereshkigal says quietly. It is not meant as a threat, but rather Ereshkigal's wish to protect her—Ritsuka knows this. Yet, still, it sends a shock through her body.  _ Oh,  _ she thinks incoherently,  _ Ere-chan is… _

Ereshkigal freezes. Ritsuka inhales, opens her mouth to say something. Nothing. Anything. No sound comes from her mouth despite how she tries. Ereshkigal, for her part, makes a noise of distress and leaps from the bed in a flurry of black fabric. She's out the door and gone before Ritsuka can even ask her to wait.

Sleep doesn't come easily, or restfully. Ritsuka dreams of the underworld, of bright souls in cages that sing like bells. She dreams about a dark grey place, colder than anything she's ever known. And lonely, with only silent dead spirits and caverns of rock and freezing water for company.

This is Ereshkigal's Kur. This is her home. Ritsuka visited, once—twice. But she had been with Mash and Ishtar, or Altera, or Ereshkigal herself. Here, in the dream, she is seeing Kur as Ereshkigal had, for many thousands of years: alone.

When Ritsuka wakes, she feels unsettled and wrong, a lingering discomfort she can't explain. She can feel that Ereshkigal is in her spirit form now, but nothing else of note. So Ritsuka goes about her day as usual—breakfast in the cafeteria, training in the simulator, checking in with da Vinci and Mash in the Command Room. Okita invites her for tea. Tomoe invites her to play video games. Ereshkigal is nowhere to be found.

This continues for six days. Ritsuka is beginning to grow restless, finding herself thinking of Ereshkigal or the underworld more often than not. Even the cafeteria Servants have picked up on it; Boudica offers her extra mashed potatoes and fresh bread on more than one occasion, and Emiya pulls her aside to ask if she's okay. (She is. Really.)

It's Ishtar who finally says something. "She's moping around," she announces to Ritsuka in the middle of the hallway just outside Ritsuka's room, not needing to specify any further. "I know it's probably not your problem, Master, but you should at least try to cheer her up. She doesn't listen to me, and it's starting to get really annoying with her being all depressed, since we're connected and all. Ugh!"

"Good morning to you too," Ritsuka says. "Thanks, though. I can try to talk to her."

Ishtar reclines back on her Boat of Heaven, crossing her legs with a satisfied smirk. "That's the Fujimaru-chan I know," she says. "Oh, and I hope you have your Command Seals ready. Ereshkigal has always been kind of a bitch, demanding everybody's Authority and whatnot if you make her mad."

"Um, I think that's…" Ritsuka starts, then decides better of it. "Uh, anyway, I'm human. I don't think I have any Authority to give in the first place."

"Wait, you didn't  _ actually _ make her mad, did you?"

"It was more of a misunderstanding," Ritsuka says, suddenly nervous for no good reason. "I'm sure it'll be fine! Thanks again, Ishtar."

Ishtar winks. "Well, that's all I came to tell you anyway. If you need help with her, just call!"

Once she's gone, Ritsuka sighs to herself. Ishtar and Ereshkigal might seem like polar opposites, but for all their differences, they really are similar deep down. Ritsuka doubts that she'll  _ need help _ with Ereshkigal, but if it did come to physical blows… Well, Ishtar probably would know her best.

(Ritsuka really, really hopes that's not necessary.)

When Ritsuka comes back from breakfast and her morning check-in with da Vinci, she makes sure to lock the door to her bedroom behind her. God knows she doesn't want anyone walking in on this. She hesitates for a moment, then decides to just sit on her unmade bed. Steels herself. Deep breaths. "Hey, Ere-chan?" she says, to no response. "Uh… Come on out, Ereshkigal." More silence. "…Please?"

Just as she's starting to feel stupid for talking to an empty room, Ereshkigal materializes in flecks of gold, her cape settling around her as if there's a breeze in the room only for her. The black dress is gone; she's back to her usual bodysuit and jewelry. "You'd better have a good reason for this," she says.

"I just wanted to see you," Ritsuka says, her heart squeezing in her chest at the reality of finally having Ereshkigal in front of her again. "It's been like a week."

Ereshkigal turns away, casting her eyes down. "I guess a week would be a long time for a living human," she mutters.

"What's going on? I mean, you just kinda disappeared. I missed you," Ritsuka adds.

"I—just forget about it," Ereshkigal says. "I know what I said earlier was weird, so please just forget it."

"No, it's fine," Ritsuka says. "Really, it's fine."

Ereshkigal looks up. "You're not mad?" she says quietly, like she can't believe it.

"No! Why would I ever be mad at you?"

"I told you I wanted to… put your soul in a cage and keep you in the underworld…"

Ritsuka snorts. "Ere-chan. I've heard worse, trust me." She pauses a moment, gauging Ereshkigal's reaction. "That's just your way of saying you're worried about me, right?"

"Well… yes, but—"

"It's fine. I'm not mad."

Ereshkigal seems to soften a bit at this. "I'm sorry, then," she says. "I shouldn't have said it. But if you can accept me as I am, then I guess I have nothing to worry about. It's just…"

"Just?" Ritsuka asks when Ereshkigal doesn't continue. "Here, sit. You can talk to me as much as you want."

Ereshkigal settles on the bed next to Ritsuka, pulling her cape around her. "You're sure?"

"Totally sure."

"Mmm… As long as there are battles to fight, I can be with you. But as long as there are battles to fight, you'll keep getting hurt…" Ereshkigal is beginning to lose her composure again. "Just—you're so special and—I want you to be safe, Ritsuka—"

"I know," Ritsuka says. "Ere-chan, I know. I mean, I'm not gonna tell you it's easy, but… I've been through a lot, and I'm still here. And now I have you too."

Ereshkigal is silent for nearly half a minute, her eyes wide and unfocused. Ritsuka waits patiently; Ereshkigal must be trying to sort things out inside her own head. "Master, I, I l-l-l-like you," she finally manages, her hands visibly shaking.

"Oh!" Ritsuka says, something swelling in her chest. This is not what she had expected, but it's certainly welcome. "Me too. I mean, you! I like you. I… Ere-chan, you're just really special to me. Don't tell my other Servants," she says, intending it as a joke, but it only seems to make Ereshkigal more distressed.

"I don't—I mean, I've never—you're the only person who's ever—"

Ritsuka hushes her. "I know," she says. "Ereshkigal. I don't mind."

Ereshkigal casts her eyes down and whines, a keening noise in her throat as if she might cry. Ritsuka reaches out for her, touches her hand lightly.

"Hey. Can I kiss you?" she asks, as gently as she can.

"Yes, please," Ereshkigal whispers back.

Ereshkigal is cold. Her lips are freezing, clammy, tinged with death. It's not like kissing another human at all, and yet there's something so entirely delightful about it simply because it is her.

"Wasn't so bad, was it?" Ritsuka says when they part.

Ereshkigal looks like she might cry, her lip trembling and tears welling up in her eyes. "Master," she whimpers. "You're, you're not. You're alive. You should live—" She exhales, shuddering, then gasps for air. "You should live for your future. Not get involved with, with a goddess of death like me."

"I know," Ritsuka says, trying to soothe as much as she can. She gently places a hand on Ereshkigal's shoulder; Ereshkigal doesn't push her away. That's a start. "I know, Ere-chan. But, it's, you know… I want to. I really like you. I mean it."

Ereshkigal sniffles and nods once. "But," she says, in the smallest voice. "It's, you're human… You'll be gone so fast."

"What about if we do it just for now?" Ritsuka says. "I mean, you're my Servant. I know I'm human. Us being here is temporary anyway, you know?"

"Yeah," Ereshkigal says. "I know… I know."

Ritsuka leans up and kisses Ereshkigal again, four or five or six times right on her slowly-warming lips. "That okay?" she asks.

Ereshkigal nods, squeezing her eyes shut. "K-keep doing it," she says.

"Okay," Ritsuka whispers, and does. When they part, she murmurs, "Ere-chan? Do you want to be my girlfriend?"

Ereshkigal squeaks, her face completely red. "Y-y-yes," she says. "I do."

Ritsuka smiles, lacing her fingers through Ereshkigal's. "For now. And when I die, you can come and get me."

Ereshkigal whimpers, nodding. "Okay. For now. For now!"

(Somewhere in Kur, a flower blooms.)

**Author's Note:**

> this was meant to go in my recent girls kissing compilation, but it kind of got out of hand, i couldn't finish it in time for the end of february without sacrificing large portions of the story i wanted to tell, and i thought it deserved to be on its own rather than in a compilation of shorter fics.
> 
> thank you very much for reading - my twitter is @jeannejalter if you'd like to come hang out ♡


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